There She Grows

What happens when you mix Peggy Bundy, Martha Stewart, and Ann Romney?

You get me!

This is not a huge stretch. I have the fashion sensibilities of Peggy Bundy. I have almost exclusively worn stretch pants since I have arrived in California. Like Martha, people be constantly fawning all over things that I make. And like Ann Romney, I have a husband who is ready and willing to indulge my every whim.

You thought I was going to say Ann and I both have MS huh? That would be correct also. But when Mrs. Romney was diagnosed her husband went and bought her some of the prettiest ponies in all the land. Now as part of her therapy, she gets to flat iron their hair, weave ribbons in their tails and prance them in pretty circles.

Mine bought me a big bag of dirt.

I'm taking up gardening. Urban gardening to be precise. Apartment gardening.We have a tiny apartment with a large patio that gets sun all day long. It's perfect. It's the first stepping stone towards having a our dream farm and the next step in my housewife project.

A few weeks ago Chris and I bought a Basil plant and a Rosemary, Thyme, Oregano combo plant at TJ's. I've been wanting to learn gardening for a while and these were my starter plants. I've managed to keep them alive and blooming for the last three weeks so we decided I was ready to take the next step. I have also read several blogs and websites about apartment gardens. The best piece of advice was so obvious: grow what you can feasibly eat. Yeah corn is delicious. But at 2 heads a stalk how much space are you willing to take up? Herbs are best. They are the most useful and are hearty. I looked at getting a community garden spot but the waiting lists around here are 2-3 years long. So we went to Capital Nursery and picked out our goodies.

Chris is my gardening teacher. While I have never seen him do anything harder then water a Hosta in the last 10 years, he swears he is an advanced gardener. His credentials are his Future Farmers of America jacket from high school that we have been dragging around with us the last 10 years. It's covered with pins and ribbons so he must have excelled at being a future farmer. I have a text book too.

 

Here are my supplies. We found pots on clearance at Target and decided that was perfect. We had a blast at the nursery. I'm committed to learning all this botanical stuff so I can grow cooler stuff later. Like a lemon tree. And tropical flowers. Did you know you can grow Hibiscus and Plumeria here in Cali? Blew my little PNW mind when I learned that.

So yesterday I put on my gardening hat and my fancy new garden gloves and got to work. I know that plants like music and that transplanting them can be a little traumatic to their roots and stuff so I decided to play cheerful music to them.

The Stoop by Little Jackie has always been one of my favorite summertime songs. We listened to Jay-Z after that. My plants should get accustomed to the neighborhood.

I realized while planting that I must have done this at some point in my life and just don't remember it.  Girl Scouts perhaps? I instinctively knew I was supposed to soften the little starts root clumps and pack them firmly but loosely in the soil. Or maybe I was just born to be a plant mama? Should I post their pictures on FB every 30 days so you can track their developments? I think I am going to photograph them for my own benefit. Someday when my beans are fully grown and at my dinner table, we can look at their pictures and wax poetic about their sprout days. And then we will eat those little fuckers up.

A couple of things are bothering me though. First is that I didn't get to plant my starts as far apart as recommended. Chris assures me that this is fine. That it is for optimal growth but it doesn't mean that they won't grow. I read in my Western Garden Edibles book that if they grow to close together I can thin them out by replanting them in another container. I have already forgot what the second thing was.....

When Chris came home he inspected my homework and said I don't have enough soil and I need to replant them again.  He also said I need to soak the plants when I planted them so the soil integrates better. I had  lightly watered them because I was afraid of traumatizing them further. He also approved of the plant stand I purchased for them. Extra credit for me!

Today I got another bag of soil and got to work with my beans and onions. I'm afraid for the little onions. In there little start packages they were all happy and upright. Now they are kind of... splayed? (Is that a word?)

We listened to a little Brandi Carlisle in case my beans aren't hip hop fans and I filled the containers up, replanted the beans and onions and re-watered them all.

Ha! I remember the second thing! I bought the wrong kind of beans. I thought I picked up a container of Blue Lake Beans, what I actually have is six little starts for Kentucky Pole Beans. I did my research and if I can grow them correctly they will need a trellis they will get so big. We will see. In a month I can plant what I really want: Garlic and Carrots.

Here is my end result:

 L to R: We have Marjoram, Rosemary/Thyme/Oregano, Italian Basil, Peppermint, Garlic Chives, and Sweet Basil.

Back to Front: Kentucky Pole Beans, Green Onions, and Yellow Onions.

If I can keep these plants alive I will plant Garlic and Carrots in September. I've been reading my book and the internet and studying when you can plant what for a winter garden. I would really like to plant berries in the spring but I'm trying not to get too far ahead of myself. I still need to learn about pest control as I don't have a chicken to take care of that for me. But I will someday :)

And yes, I made my garden markers. I snagged a handful of paint stir sticks at Home Depot, painted them with craft paint, stamped them with a little leaf stamp, and wrote on them in Sharpie. Easy Peasy.

So, How many of you are gardeners? Got any advice for me? I'll take it. Have you container gardened before? And I'm still taking suggestions on " Woman's Work" and other things I can learn while I am a temporary housewife. I hit up the grocery store this morning for the ingredients for my next blog and am currently saving up Michaels coupons for soap making ingredients. Did I mention my grandfather called me a homesteader? Yeah. At least I know that when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, I will survive on my food making skills. Which reminds me....

Chris and I have seen two gangs of wild Turkeys since we have been here. I always thought a group of Turkeys was called a congress but a Google search says it's a gang. Which is hilarious since there is only one male and several females in a Turkey gang so it's really more of a Turkey Harem but who decides this stuff anyway? The first gang we saw was in an rural area but the Tom stood in front of our car while all the hens crossed the road. We could not stop laughing. When we mentioned this to other people, they were not surprised. Apparently it is very common to stumble upon Urban Turkey Gangs in Sacramento. We were baffled but in love with the idea that we live in a city where Turkey gangs run the streets. Then we saw a gang of Turkey's in the parking lot of Chris's office. I shit you not.

Urban Turkey Gang Bitches (Hens) with their Turklets (Poults).

Their baby daddy, Big Tom.

Because I am curious about hunting these Turkeys we asked around about gun laws etc. Chris says I cannot discharge a fire arm in city limits. This halts my ambition of driving up and shooting the Turkey out of my car window. His cousin informed me that I cannot use a bow and arrow or slingshot either. This sucks because last time I was home my Grandpa and I made a totally sweet slingshot together and yes, I really have homemade slingshot in my kitchen. Which only leaves me one option:  I will have to learn how to make snares and traps. Chris and I had a great laugh imagining me setting traps in his office parking lot ( They were back again on Monday), while sitting on my SUV and blowing my Turkey Sex Whistle. I mean, If I can be an urban gardener why can't I become an urban hunter? In case of  the Zombie Apocalypse I don't want to be one of those lazy asses on The Walking Dead that is always digging around for canned food. I'm going to be Daryl, with a garden. A stretch pant wearing, poncho crocheting, urban hunter-gatherer who has a bad attitude and a requires a lot of naps.