I'm in recovery.
Of sorts....
I had a very long stretch of days/hours/minutes at work that I needed to recover from. Sunday was my first day off in 10 days for a total of 97 hours. It was full of physical recovery. I slept. I napped. I slept some more. I ate an entire pint of Talenti Caramel Cookies-n-Cream gelato. I watched the Seahawks game, the Sounders game and rested. It helped. A little...
I returned to work Monday at 5 am :( For another 10 hours :(
I wasn't mentally recovered. I needed to do something for myself. Something that would actually turn my brain down to zero (ish). Something where no one was calling my name. Low stress. I had tickets to a concert that Tuesday night and I happened to be off that entire day. The concert was going to be fun but it still felt like a bit of a production. I had to return to work today at 5am so was it really smart of me to stay out past 11? Not at all. Was I willing to do it? Yes. Was I really excited when my date called me and said she had to cancel? Oh yes. It was a great excuse not to go and not feel like I was pooping out on something I was looking forward to. Those tickets went to a good home and I got to spend the day in Napa Valley.
Chris and I are members at a Calistoga winery called Cuvaison. We first drank their wine back in April at a friend in Seattles home. Then my fabulous hair stylist Chanel recommended that if I go out to Napa I should go to Cuvaison and visit St. Helena. Chris and I did and as usual, Chanel was right. It was a great little place with fantastic wines. For the record, Chanel is right about everything. I spend an amount equal to my electric bill to get my hair done by her and it's so worth it. She always has great advice about where to eat in Sacramento and San Francisco, what wineries I should visit in the valley, and well ....life. I can text her anytime of day ( and I do) with a question about a recommendation and she has an answer. Her dream is to own a day spa with a wine bar and farm to table foods for guests. She goes to wine country every other Thursday for a "me day" and explores new restaurants and different wineries. She is obsessed with chocolates too. In fact, the price of my hair includes a head and shoulder massage, aromatherapy, deep conditioning treatment and all the chocolates I can stuff in my face. But enough about the fabulous Chanel.
With Chris working I was free to hit the road solo and go pick up our September wine club package. Chanel would have been very proud. I curled my hair, downloaded a new audiobook for the drive, and hit the road.
In typical Angelina fashion I had some difficulty navigating the roads. After 14 months of living here I finally figured out I-5 and was so excited I got on I-5, only to remember I needed to be on the 80. Damn. Then I made it to the interchange and some trucks tried to run me off the road i.e would let me merge properly and I was forced to exit off and then I had to navigate around and back and well ... you get the idea.
But I made it. My first stop was the Oxbow Public Market. I had read in The Bee that it is a cool as the ferry terminal market in San Francisco. It's not. But I did see some hilarious people! As in Napa Natives. They exist. But I think I would rather spend time with a Chupacabra. Example #1 was a lady in her yoga clothes pushing an enclosed pink stroller that held some sort of white curly dog. A Maltipoo? A Goldendoodle? Some white curly designer dog that had a pink bow in it's hair and was being pushed in a stroller alongside it's toys. Either she saw my face or the very obviously horrified face of the woman next to me, as we were standing next to the entrance sign that said " NO DOGS OR OTHER ANIMALS. THIS INCLUDES SNAKES AND RABBITS." I know this because I was wondering why was it so specific? Who is this person who brought their python to the farmers market and was like," It says no dogs."
And Rabbits. Who brought the rabbits? How do you wrangle rabbits into a farmers market? I suppose you could put them in a shiny pink stroller but the phrase "herding cats" comes to mind and frankly, hearding rabbits sounds worse. Maybe there was a snake and rabbit incident? Now that, that would have been awesome. Just imagine a farmers market full of middle aged women in matching twinsets inspecting the heirloom tomatoes...
Lady #1, in a Chico's ensemble: I prefer the Brandywine variety when I am making Bruschetta but I suppose these... my word is that a Python?"
Lady #2, in an Ann Taylor Twinset : I think so. How strange? The sign clearly says no dogs.
Lady #3, let's call her Talbots and she is holding her pet angora rabbit, Princess Grace: I know it says no dogs, that why I know I can bring Gracie here no problem. The dogs scare her so. This is the best place to get free range, vegetarian feed, organic carrots for her. You know she is so sensitive OH MY GOD AHHHHH! GRACIE! OH MY GRACIE! AHHHHHHHHHH!
Anyway, that didn't happen but it could have. It was a very specific sign.
And the whole point of that was to tell you that the lady with the designer dog in a stroller looked directly us and said...
"Therapy dogs don't count. "
And then wheeled her stroller up the handicapped ramp and indoors.
Also, at the same market I saw some mommy-shaming that made me so upset! And I am not even a mother! The nerve of some people is unreal sometimes. A woman had two kids with her. One was an infant in the carrier on her chest and the other was a toddler holding her hand. She really was inspecting heirloom tomatoes and was talking to the attendant about her children's eating habits. She was saying something I caught the end of which ended like this...
Mom: ... and paper. It's like her favorite food besides breastmilk. If she can get her hands on some paper she loves to chew it up.
Smarmy Attendant: Really? So what do you think is missing in YOUR diet that she is craving paper? Is there something more YOU could be doing so she is satisfied.
Oh holy hell. I would love to hear in the comments below how you would have reacted. I wish I had stuck around to see what the mother said. That was so crazy to me that anyone, stranger or familiar, would attack a mom like that for what is a totally normal child behavior. Babies will put anything in their mouth! Especially if it makes noise! Wow.
Anyway, my journey continued onward but I just finished a marvelous glass of Brandlin 2009 Zinfandel and this journey is continuing on to bed. More to come tomorrow! Goodnight!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Remember the Moments
How many times am I going to start a blog with "I'm back!"
Hopefully not too many more times.....
But " Hey, I'm back!"
I took an unintentional summer hiatus. This came about due to a myriad of reasons. The first being work. Not that my job became 60 hours a week or anything physically exhausting, but I did have to tackle some new roles and challenges. And since I won't blog anything about my job I felt like I didn't have much material to work from. Second, I realized that isn't quite true. I did plenty of great things this summer but if I only wrote about the awesome parts of my life would I be turning this blog into a great big humble brag? Is my blog already a great big unintentional humble brag? Dammit. I still can't quite figure out this chicken/egg quandary.
Thirdly, I really wanted to continue to live what I preached about being present in the moments while they are happening. In this age where we can document every moment of our lives ( like.. uhhh.. vanity blogging) we are prone to reliving everything we do in digital fashions instead of just, you know, enjoying the moments as they happen. I want to fondly remember things because of what happened and how I felt as opposed to letting how many hits or likes I received dictate they value of my memories.
Fourthly and finally, my computer broke. So there's that.
But yesterday started some new chapters for both Chris and myself. It was my first day at my new store where I will be the bakery manager :) It was exciting, like the first day of school. It was like this last year when we opened store 152 but I was the new kid, and now I'm a cool kid! LOL. You want to see me go crazy? Show me 200 shiny new cookie sheets.
Personally and professionally things are looking up for Chris and I. His company is undergoing some staffing changes and his work load is about to increase also, but he is on a great track. We've been here a year now and have made some friends. We are still learning about the city but we have mostly stopped making jokes about moving anywhere besides home. Chris has taken to calling me a Californian due to my love of straw fedoras and my sandal tan lines. I refuse to accept this. Particularly since he keeps using the non-word "Hella". Which one of us has gone native?
But really this best thing about Sacramento is its close proximity to everything we love. It's 2 hours to anywhere great, including home if you get on an airplane. And that is why my summer vacation included not one but two trips home to the Northwest, two trips to San Francisco, a trip to Sonoma, Lake Henessey, Lake Tahoe, the discovery of fabulous new restaurants, a John Mayer concert that was surrounded by a beautiful country fields, an Oakland A's game ( I wore my Seattle Mariners shirt), and 2 more 5K's.
Speaking of 5K's, Chris and I did the Neon Splash Dash over the weekend and it was a blast! And I fulfilled my goal of riding a Golden Bear. Seriously. When we moved here and I saw all those bears near the Expo I wanted to mount one so bad! And with a little help from Chris I was able to do so.
See you soon? Talk to you soon? Talk at you soon? Write at you soon? Who knows how you are supposed to properly end this stuff?
Sincerely,
Angelina McKenna
Hopefully not too many more times.....
But " Hey, I'm back!"
I took an unintentional summer hiatus. This came about due to a myriad of reasons. The first being work. Not that my job became 60 hours a week or anything physically exhausting, but I did have to tackle some new roles and challenges. And since I won't blog anything about my job I felt like I didn't have much material to work from. Second, I realized that isn't quite true. I did plenty of great things this summer but if I only wrote about the awesome parts of my life would I be turning this blog into a great big humble brag? Is my blog already a great big unintentional humble brag? Dammit. I still can't quite figure out this chicken/egg quandary.
Thirdly, I really wanted to continue to live what I preached about being present in the moments while they are happening. In this age where we can document every moment of our lives ( like.. uhhh.. vanity blogging) we are prone to reliving everything we do in digital fashions instead of just, you know, enjoying the moments as they happen. I want to fondly remember things because of what happened and how I felt as opposed to letting how many hits or likes I received dictate they value of my memories.
Fourthly and finally, my computer broke. So there's that.
But yesterday started some new chapters for both Chris and myself. It was my first day at my new store where I will be the bakery manager :) It was exciting, like the first day of school. It was like this last year when we opened store 152 but I was the new kid, and now I'm a cool kid! LOL. You want to see me go crazy? Show me 200 shiny new cookie sheets.
Personally and professionally things are looking up for Chris and I. His company is undergoing some staffing changes and his work load is about to increase also, but he is on a great track. We've been here a year now and have made some friends. We are still learning about the city but we have mostly stopped making jokes about moving anywhere besides home. Chris has taken to calling me a Californian due to my love of straw fedoras and my sandal tan lines. I refuse to accept this. Particularly since he keeps using the non-word "Hella". Which one of us has gone native?
But really this best thing about Sacramento is its close proximity to everything we love. It's 2 hours to anywhere great, including home if you get on an airplane. And that is why my summer vacation included not one but two trips home to the Northwest, two trips to San Francisco, a trip to Sonoma, Lake Henessey, Lake Tahoe, the discovery of fabulous new restaurants, a John Mayer concert that was surrounded by a beautiful country fields, an Oakland A's game ( I wore my Seattle Mariners shirt), and 2 more 5K's.
Speaking of 5K's, Chris and I did the Neon Splash Dash over the weekend and it was a blast! And I fulfilled my goal of riding a Golden Bear. Seriously. When we moved here and I saw all those bears near the Expo I wanted to mount one so bad! And with a little help from Chris I was able to do so.
All done! Third 5K is in the books.
Chris thinks there is a toddler picture of him somewhere looking just like this. Maybe even including stained shirt.
Success!
I have so many pictures from my bachelorette party that look similar to this, I could start a Tumblr.
Bonus Photo: I didn't put this one on Facebook. I was trying to look like I was wrestling the bear. Fail.
See you soon? Talk to you soon? Talk at you soon? Write at you soon? Who knows how you are supposed to properly end this stuff?
Sincerely,
Angelina McKenna
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Here I Grow Again
Who wears thick glasses and has two green thumbs?
This girl!
Remember last August when I decided to try my hand at gardening? If you don't, visit the blog entitled There She Grows and then continue on here.
Last summer's first attempt was successful. I learned all the things NOT to do. I managed to harvest 6 whole green beans before white flies devoured my plants. I planted all my onions in the clumps that transplants came in and they never grew. So we took them apart and planted them seperate and then they died. The herbs lasted until winter frosts then they died also. And despite possesing one award winning Future Farmers of America jacket, Chris is little to no help at all. He never knows the answers to my questions and when I learn the hard way about something he always chimes in with " I know." When I ask him if he is just trying to Mr. Miyagi me he raises an eyebrow and claims " I knew when it happened."
Jerk.
What he really means is "I didn't know until right NOW, but now I am going to pretend I knew the whole time and was purposely Miyagi-ing you."
Double Jerk.
So when I planted the winter garden I ignored him and consulted the internet and my handy Western Garden Edibles book. I had never been through a "winter" in California and was unprepared for the temperature drop. Sure daytime lows are in the 60's but it really does drop to freezing over night. And that is how I lost everything. My broccoli bolted. My celery only grew tops, never bottoms. The garlic never grew at all and the white flies never stopped. Ever. I had an intense conversation with the master gardener at Green Acres, my favorite local nursery, about sprays and pesticides. He recommended an organic spray that I had already tried. It had seemed to make them multiply. I distinctly remember telling him, " No. I need poison. I want them dead, not to get an aromatherapy spa treatment." He asked if he could use that line when he teaches classes, I obliged.
Well on the first day of spring this year I dusted off my trowel and gloves and washed my pots. I hit up Green Acres and put a small dent in my bank account and got to work.
Oh hey. Angelina here. I started this blog on May 19 and just got back to it today. Whoops.
Anyhoo. If this was Little Spoon Garden 3 weeks ago, my has she grown! Just seeing this makes me want to hug my tomatillos! She is growing so big I already had to stake her :) And her little yellow flowers are darling.
I'm learning a lot about gardening. I love it. I can't wait for the day when I actually have a patch of grass of my own and I can learn about soil conditions and spacing and crops. I love coming home after work and pinching off a sprig of mint for my iced tea ( um.. or mojito). I love picking fresh basil and oregano to sauté with veggies for dinner. I wish I was growing all those veggies but I'm doing what I can.
When I planted back in March, I planted butter lettuce. I love butter lettuce. Turns out, snails do to. And sadly my first round of lettuce went to the snails. I was content just picking the snails up and flinging them in the bushes for a while, but they were relentless. The term snails pace is such a joke. Those mother effers are fast. Every day they were back. Every day I lost lettuce leaves. I was so frustrated I caved in and bought some snail killer.
I'm unhappy to report that they won that first battle and the entire war. Not only did they get the lettuce, I successfully killed them all with something terrifying called Corry's Slug and Snail Death. Then the perimeter of my patio was littered with 40 something snail shells. And than the lettuce bolted and I couldn't eat it anyway!
Don't be abhorred by my use of Snail Death. I never put it in contact with any of my plants. I lined one side of the perimeter of my patio and have only had one perimeter breach in 2 months. If the snails had any brains they could avoid it entirely and go through the two unprotected ends. There are also no children or pets present to poison, just snails.
Plus I am trying this organic non-pesticide Neem Oil spray to keep the aphids away. It's working. You know what seems to feed off it though? White Flies. I'm back to where I started with this problem.
Another gardening lesson learned is the truth about those Topsy Turvey pieces of crap. I bought one for strawberries and one for tomatoes. We haven't even used the tomato one because our tomatoes are growing gang busters in regular pots. I was going to plant cherry tomatoes in it but I gave them to the neighbor kid ( more on that later.) Chris loaded up the strawberry hanger and it was so heavy with soil that there is no way we could have safely hung it anywhere. It is pictured in the above photo but I threw the whole thing out shortly after. We had to sit it on the shelf and all it ever did was funnel water out of every single hole when you watered it. The pineapple sage grew well in it though. I dug that out and repotted it and it is delightful.
Another small gardening misadventure is that you should not buy anything called Grapefruit Mint. Sure, it smells lovely and sounds tangy and delightful. But no. Just no. Don't do it. It tastes like a peppercorn. And you don't want to toss it out because it is still alive. But you know you are never going to eat it. And yet you feed and water it and it grows giant and full and it is still on your patio taking up space and growing bigger and still tasting horrible no matter what you do. And WHY IS IT STILL ON MY PATIO? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS TERRIBLE PEPPER BARF PLANT?!
In closing, my neighbor kid is always peeking at my plants. He thinks they are the bees knees. So one day when I was out there watering them I started talking to him and his friend. I was telling them what the different plants were and how you could pick mint leaves off and eat them. They looked confused. I picked off some spearmint and peppermint leaves and started chewing while I picked more for them. They chewed and responded...
" Is this a toothpaste plant? This plant tastes like toothpaste."
Young urban kids say the darndest things
And that is when I gave him my cherry tomato plant. He is growing it quite successfully and learning that food does not just appear at the grocery store. And hopefully that in this chicken vs. egg scenario, the plant always comes before the toothpaste.
This girl!
Remember last August when I decided to try my hand at gardening? If you don't, visit the blog entitled There She Grows and then continue on here.
Last summer's first attempt was successful. I learned all the things NOT to do. I managed to harvest 6 whole green beans before white flies devoured my plants. I planted all my onions in the clumps that transplants came in and they never grew. So we took them apart and planted them seperate and then they died. The herbs lasted until winter frosts then they died also. And despite possesing one award winning Future Farmers of America jacket, Chris is little to no help at all. He never knows the answers to my questions and when I learn the hard way about something he always chimes in with " I know." When I ask him if he is just trying to Mr. Miyagi me he raises an eyebrow and claims " I knew when it happened."
Jerk.
What he really means is "I didn't know until right NOW, but now I am going to pretend I knew the whole time and was purposely Miyagi-ing you."
Double Jerk.
So when I planted the winter garden I ignored him and consulted the internet and my handy Western Garden Edibles book. I had never been through a "winter" in California and was unprepared for the temperature drop. Sure daytime lows are in the 60's but it really does drop to freezing over night. And that is how I lost everything. My broccoli bolted. My celery only grew tops, never bottoms. The garlic never grew at all and the white flies never stopped. Ever. I had an intense conversation with the master gardener at Green Acres, my favorite local nursery, about sprays and pesticides. He recommended an organic spray that I had already tried. It had seemed to make them multiply. I distinctly remember telling him, " No. I need poison. I want them dead, not to get an aromatherapy spa treatment." He asked if he could use that line when he teaches classes, I obliged.
Well on the first day of spring this year I dusted off my trowel and gloves and washed my pots. I hit up Green Acres and put a small dent in my bank account and got to work.
Oh hey. Angelina here. I started this blog on May 19 and just got back to it today. Whoops.
Anyhoo. If this was Little Spoon Garden 3 weeks ago, my has she grown! Just seeing this makes me want to hug my tomatillos! She is growing so big I already had to stake her :) And her little yellow flowers are darling.
I'm learning a lot about gardening. I love it. I can't wait for the day when I actually have a patch of grass of my own and I can learn about soil conditions and spacing and crops. I love coming home after work and pinching off a sprig of mint for my iced tea ( um.. or mojito). I love picking fresh basil and oregano to sauté with veggies for dinner. I wish I was growing all those veggies but I'm doing what I can.
When I planted back in March, I planted butter lettuce. I love butter lettuce. Turns out, snails do to. And sadly my first round of lettuce went to the snails. I was content just picking the snails up and flinging them in the bushes for a while, but they were relentless. The term snails pace is such a joke. Those mother effers are fast. Every day they were back. Every day I lost lettuce leaves. I was so frustrated I caved in and bought some snail killer.
I'm unhappy to report that they won that first battle and the entire war. Not only did they get the lettuce, I successfully killed them all with something terrifying called Corry's Slug and Snail Death. Then the perimeter of my patio was littered with 40 something snail shells. And than the lettuce bolted and I couldn't eat it anyway!
Don't be abhorred by my use of Snail Death. I never put it in contact with any of my plants. I lined one side of the perimeter of my patio and have only had one perimeter breach in 2 months. If the snails had any brains they could avoid it entirely and go through the two unprotected ends. There are also no children or pets present to poison, just snails.
Plus I am trying this organic non-pesticide Neem Oil spray to keep the aphids away. It's working. You know what seems to feed off it though? White Flies. I'm back to where I started with this problem.
Another gardening lesson learned is the truth about those Topsy Turvey pieces of crap. I bought one for strawberries and one for tomatoes. We haven't even used the tomato one because our tomatoes are growing gang busters in regular pots. I was going to plant cherry tomatoes in it but I gave them to the neighbor kid ( more on that later.) Chris loaded up the strawberry hanger and it was so heavy with soil that there is no way we could have safely hung it anywhere. It is pictured in the above photo but I threw the whole thing out shortly after. We had to sit it on the shelf and all it ever did was funnel water out of every single hole when you watered it. The pineapple sage grew well in it though. I dug that out and repotted it and it is delightful.
Another small gardening misadventure is that you should not buy anything called Grapefruit Mint. Sure, it smells lovely and sounds tangy and delightful. But no. Just no. Don't do it. It tastes like a peppercorn. And you don't want to toss it out because it is still alive. But you know you are never going to eat it. And yet you feed and water it and it grows giant and full and it is still on your patio taking up space and growing bigger and still tasting horrible no matter what you do. And WHY IS IT STILL ON MY PATIO? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS TERRIBLE PEPPER BARF PLANT?!
In closing, my neighbor kid is always peeking at my plants. He thinks they are the bees knees. So one day when I was out there watering them I started talking to him and his friend. I was telling them what the different plants were and how you could pick mint leaves off and eat them. They looked confused. I picked off some spearmint and peppermint leaves and started chewing while I picked more for them. They chewed and responded...
" Is this a toothpaste plant? This plant tastes like toothpaste."
And that is when I gave him my cherry tomato plant. He is growing it quite successfully and learning that food does not just appear at the grocery store. And hopefully that in this chicken vs. egg scenario, the plant always comes before the toothpaste.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Thirty One
Earlier this month, I turned 31. It freaked me out for about a week prior. The whole realization that 30 was over.... ick. And here is why...
I'm no longer 30. I'm IN my 30's.
I was on an edge, now I'm completely, undeniably thirtysomething.
(Thirty-ish?)
( I think I like that better.)
I think all the hype about turning 30 comes from the expectations we give ourselves when are younger. Expectations about the things we will do when we are adults. Because when you are 30, you are clearly an adult ( or so you think when you are 18 -24). So when we see ourselves reach that line, we panic, we withdraw, we deny. We dust off these mental lists from 10 years ago and realize we haven't made any progress.
" I'm such a failure! 30 can't be happening! I never backpacked through Europe. I never followed Hoobastank on a North American tour! I haven't read Lady Chatterly's Lover! I don't have 1.5 kids! I never went to Lake Havasu for MTV Spring Break! I still don't know who let the dogs out!!!".
Maybe somewhere along the way we should have updated our lists? Maybe we do. Maybe that's why 40 freaks everyone out also. Because we realized we haven't completed our second chance list?
I'm sure you twenty somethings are rolling your eyes at me. And I'm sure you forty somethings are rolling your eyes at me too. Old People. Young Bucks. We are one and the same.
But here is what the surprise was for me while I aged between 30 and 31.
The aging.
The god damn aging.
I had no idea that your 30's require so much maintenance! I really thought it was optional. Or only for the vain. And I suppose ultimately it is optional and that some of it is just for the vain. And maybe it is because I shy away from those hateful women's magazines but I didn't know any of this.
(Is being out of touch with these modern realities a sign of aging too? If it is, I'm screwed.)
I HAD TO PURCHASE AGE DEFYING CONCEALER.
I say "had to" because the dark circles under my eyes are no joke. And trust me, I sleep 7 to 8 hours every night. Lack of sleep is not the problem.
UPON APPLYING SAID CONCEALER, I REALIZED MY EYE SKIN DOESN'T BOUNCE BACK THE WAY IT USED TO.
Fuck. Gross. See you later elasticity. I never liked you anyway.
( no seriously, please come back. I miss you.)
ONE DAY, CHRIS LOOKED OVER AND SAID " YOU HAVE CUTE LITTLE CROW'S FEET."
I would hate him but he is right. Maybe I hate him for being right.
I HAVE A VERICOSE VEIN ON MY FOOT.
MY BOOBS ARE NO LONGER ON THE UPPER THIRD OF MY CHEST.
Not entirely true. One of them is.
I CARRY A $20 TUBE OF DRY SKIN CREAM IN MY PURSE AT ALL TIMES.
And I apply it everyday because I will look like a dragon if I don't.
I TAKE 6 VITAMINS A DAY. I CARRY THEM IN MY PURSE. ALONG WITH PAIN MEDICATIONS.
Because I have enough pains that I always need to be prepared for them? Sad truth.
A MONTHLY MASSAGE IS NO LONGER A SPLURGE, IT'S A NECESSITY.
Same goes for Chiropractic.
THE GYNOCOLOGIST TOLD ME I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
Die bitch, die.
I HAVE A FLEX SPENDING ACCOUNT.
Two years ago I didn't even know what this was.
I SPENT $27 ON A CONCEALER CALLED ERASE PASTE.
It's the only thing thick enough to cover my broken capillaries. Yep, broken capillaries. Ew.
MY USE THE TOOTHPASTE SOLD BY THE ELDERLY PEOPLE IN SENSODYNE COMMERCIALS.
Pronamel Whitening. I have way too much enamel erosion.
I want to clarify that I am not complaining about any of this. It has just been alot to absorb. I expected all this stuff to happen when I became an adult. You know, after I had 1.5 kids, paid property taxes, went on a Carnival cruise and other adult things. And I plan on doing nothing about any of it. Nothing. No Botox, no Restalyne, no surgeries or procedures. De nada. Zero. Nothing.
I plan on aging gracefully. So I apply hempseed hand protector generously. I use a day cream and a night cream. I SPF myself to death. I swallow 6 vitamins a day and my nails grow strong and white. I brush and floss twice a day. And I will confess to you my most revolutionary secret. Seriously.This one gets gasps. Are you ready?
I quit coloring my hair.
Yep.
September was the last time I colored it and I had them try to match it as close as possible to my roots. It has been nearly 8 months.
I have grey hair too. Quite a bit for my age. I like it. Liking my grey hair was the biggest bit in learning to let go of hair color. I look forward to having long pretty grey hair. I never want to be in that awkward phase of grey roots and colored hair and than having to cut my hair old lady short in order to get rid of it. Not this girl. My hair stylist is horrorfied. To the point of asking me everytime I see her if I am ready to change my mind. It's getting annoying. She called other stylists over one time and tugged at my curls and said" She's letting them grey. She's giving up the color." They were stunned. Who knows how I will feel about this later. But right now it feels really good.
And on my off days I choose to think of my hair as turning California blonde. Because the hair isn't grey, it's white.
Well it's 8:30 now. Time to go brush, floss, wash, exfoliate, and tone. I will brush my hair, tweeze my loose brow hairs, and rub coconut oil on my elbows and ankles. I will pour a glass of wine and try to finish my book but I will probably just fall asleep. C'est la vie.
I'm no longer 30. I'm IN my 30's.
I was on an edge, now I'm completely, undeniably thirtysomething.
(Thirty-ish?)
( I think I like that better.)
I think all the hype about turning 30 comes from the expectations we give ourselves when are younger. Expectations about the things we will do when we are adults. Because when you are 30, you are clearly an adult ( or so you think when you are 18 -24). So when we see ourselves reach that line, we panic, we withdraw, we deny. We dust off these mental lists from 10 years ago and realize we haven't made any progress.
" I'm such a failure! 30 can't be happening! I never backpacked through Europe. I never followed Hoobastank on a North American tour! I haven't read Lady Chatterly's Lover! I don't have 1.5 kids! I never went to Lake Havasu for MTV Spring Break! I still don't know who let the dogs out!!!".
Maybe somewhere along the way we should have updated our lists? Maybe we do. Maybe that's why 40 freaks everyone out also. Because we realized we haven't completed our second chance list?
I'm sure you twenty somethings are rolling your eyes at me. And I'm sure you forty somethings are rolling your eyes at me too. Old People. Young Bucks. We are one and the same.
But here is what the surprise was for me while I aged between 30 and 31.
The aging.
The god damn aging.
I had no idea that your 30's require so much maintenance! I really thought it was optional. Or only for the vain. And I suppose ultimately it is optional and that some of it is just for the vain. And maybe it is because I shy away from those hateful women's magazines but I didn't know any of this.
(Is being out of touch with these modern realities a sign of aging too? If it is, I'm screwed.)
I HAD TO PURCHASE AGE DEFYING CONCEALER.
I say "had to" because the dark circles under my eyes are no joke. And trust me, I sleep 7 to 8 hours every night. Lack of sleep is not the problem.
UPON APPLYING SAID CONCEALER, I REALIZED MY EYE SKIN DOESN'T BOUNCE BACK THE WAY IT USED TO.
Fuck. Gross. See you later elasticity. I never liked you anyway.
( no seriously, please come back. I miss you.)
ONE DAY, CHRIS LOOKED OVER AND SAID " YOU HAVE CUTE LITTLE CROW'S FEET."
I would hate him but he is right. Maybe I hate him for being right.
I HAVE A VERICOSE VEIN ON MY FOOT.
MY BOOBS ARE NO LONGER ON THE UPPER THIRD OF MY CHEST.
Not entirely true. One of them is.
I CARRY A $20 TUBE OF DRY SKIN CREAM IN MY PURSE AT ALL TIMES.
And I apply it everyday because I will look like a dragon if I don't.
I TAKE 6 VITAMINS A DAY. I CARRY THEM IN MY PURSE. ALONG WITH PAIN MEDICATIONS.
Because I have enough pains that I always need to be prepared for them? Sad truth.
A MONTHLY MASSAGE IS NO LONGER A SPLURGE, IT'S A NECESSITY.
Same goes for Chiropractic.
THE GYNOCOLOGIST TOLD ME I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
Die bitch, die.
I HAVE A FLEX SPENDING ACCOUNT.
Two years ago I didn't even know what this was.
I SPENT $27 ON A CONCEALER CALLED ERASE PASTE.
It's the only thing thick enough to cover my broken capillaries. Yep, broken capillaries. Ew.
MY USE THE TOOTHPASTE SOLD BY THE ELDERLY PEOPLE IN SENSODYNE COMMERCIALS.
Pronamel Whitening. I have way too much enamel erosion.
I want to clarify that I am not complaining about any of this. It has just been alot to absorb. I expected all this stuff to happen when I became an adult. You know, after I had 1.5 kids, paid property taxes, went on a Carnival cruise and other adult things. And I plan on doing nothing about any of it. Nothing. No Botox, no Restalyne, no surgeries or procedures. De nada. Zero. Nothing.
I plan on aging gracefully. So I apply hempseed hand protector generously. I use a day cream and a night cream. I SPF myself to death. I swallow 6 vitamins a day and my nails grow strong and white. I brush and floss twice a day. And I will confess to you my most revolutionary secret. Seriously.This one gets gasps. Are you ready?
I quit coloring my hair.
Yep.
September was the last time I colored it and I had them try to match it as close as possible to my roots. It has been nearly 8 months.
I have grey hair too. Quite a bit for my age. I like it. Liking my grey hair was the biggest bit in learning to let go of hair color. I look forward to having long pretty grey hair. I never want to be in that awkward phase of grey roots and colored hair and than having to cut my hair old lady short in order to get rid of it. Not this girl. My hair stylist is horrorfied. To the point of asking me everytime I see her if I am ready to change my mind. It's getting annoying. She called other stylists over one time and tugged at my curls and said" She's letting them grey. She's giving up the color." They were stunned. Who knows how I will feel about this later. But right now it feels really good.
And on my off days I choose to think of my hair as turning California blonde. Because the hair isn't grey, it's white.
Well it's 8:30 now. Time to go brush, floss, wash, exfoliate, and tone. I will brush my hair, tweeze my loose brow hairs, and rub coconut oil on my elbows and ankles. I will pour a glass of wine and try to finish my book but I will probably just fall asleep. C'est la vie.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Heart
No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.
-Buddha
I'm not sure I know enough words to fully describe the last 72 hours. Just imagine every word for generosity you can think of and roll it into one big emotion.
When Chris and I signed up to do the MS Walk in March, we imagined we would have plenty of time to raise some money. The website tells you that the average team raises $400 and is comprised of 4 people. Since there are two of us we set our goal at $200.
And as you all well know, life happens.
So Friday morning rolls around and I start pumping for donations on Facebook. The first one rolls in and we are excited...
...and the ball keeps rolling....
Can I channel my inner Sally Field here and just say " You like me....You really like me."
Because in 48 hours we managed to raise $500!!!!!!!!
That's two zeros my friends.
Five.Hundred.Dollars.
I have a debt of gratitude for each and every one of you. You have truly made me feel like one special lady. Even those who couldn't donate because your emotional support means millions to me as well. I texted a co-worker that I feel overwhelmed knowing that I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for. She agreed. She says it must be because I must be such a good friend. I hope she is right. And I now have a lot to live up to.
So here is a slurry of photos from this morning. Also, since I love to share what songs I've been jamming to lately. Here's a little video to provide the soundtrack. I downloaded this album to listen to on my flight back to Washington in March because I loved the Phillip Phillips song "Home" so much. And not surprisingly, I love this song even more. I fell in love from the first verse.
-Buddha
I'm not sure I know enough words to fully describe the last 72 hours. Just imagine every word for generosity you can think of and roll it into one big emotion.
When Chris and I signed up to do the MS Walk in March, we imagined we would have plenty of time to raise some money. The website tells you that the average team raises $400 and is comprised of 4 people. Since there are two of us we set our goal at $200.
And as you all well know, life happens.
So Friday morning rolls around and I start pumping for donations on Facebook. The first one rolls in and we are excited...
...and the ball keeps rolling....
Can I channel my inner Sally Field here and just say " You like me....You really like me."
Because in 48 hours we managed to raise $500!!!!!!!!
That's two zeros my friends.
Five.Hundred.Dollars.
I have a debt of gratitude for each and every one of you. You have truly made me feel like one special lady. Even those who couldn't donate because your emotional support means millions to me as well. I texted a co-worker that I feel overwhelmed knowing that I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for. She agreed. She says it must be because I must be such a good friend. I hope she is right. And I now have a lot to live up to.
So here is a slurry of photos from this morning. Also, since I love to share what songs I've been jamming to lately. Here's a little video to provide the soundtrack. I downloaded this album to listen to on my flight back to Washington in March because I loved the Phillip Phillips song "Home" so much. And not surprisingly, I love this song even more. I fell in love from the first verse.
MS Walk 2013
They gave me sharpie.
Chris and the official shirt. He also let me have control of the sharpie.
Ready to Walk!
We found The Dude. I wanted to invite him out for White Russians after the walk. Chris ix-nayed that idea.
And this happened. We walked past this church and well, how could you pass it up? I received a lot of cheers for running over and posing, but I didn't see anybody else do it. It turned out to be the greatest photo of my life. I want this etched on my tombstone.
Team Emerald City Exiles after the finish line! Our first 5K under our belts. Yes, it was a walk. But we have to start somewhere, right? We are signed up for another one in May. Our plan is to walk/jog. Clearly we are overweight, but we are working on it. It's a marathon, not a sprint eh?
I had to take this photo for my girl Shauna. You're welcome.
Thank you again and again and all over again. Now go hug your loved ones. Eat chocolate. Or better yet, a Cool Ranch Dorito Taco. Because I finally gave in and tried one today. Life will never be the same.
And I will love you all long after you are gone, gone, gone.
Friday, April 12, 2013
We Are Timeless
Forgive me readers for I have sinned.
It's been nearly two months since my last blog and during this time countless things good and bad have occured.
I have made a stronger commitment to my well being and have been considerably less symptomatic than the last time you heard from me. I have taken all my vitamins everyday for the last two months ( But I'm still off my meds but you will have to forgive me for that.) I have forsaken working any hour beyond my scheduled time and am really trying to leave work at work and not worry about it during my off hours.
I have made great efforts to experience my life while it is happening. Hence, less blogging and less Facebook interactions. I have instead made efforts to hang out with real people and I think I have made a few friends.
I indulged in frequent flier miles and visted my Mother. And I gladly spent an enormous amount of money to spend a week with family when we lost our Grandmother Judy.
So in a way, this is a blog about death. Or living life. However you choose to think about it.
Chris and I are in love with a band called The Airborne Toxic Event. They are the best band you aren't listening to. The lead singer and songwriter Mikel Jollet has had some crap happen in his life and now he writes some beautiful music about it. Like me, he has an autoimmune disease. He has also suffered having 4 family members die close together. He is pretty obsessed with living and dying you might say, having his fair share while trying to absorb the mental mind fuck that is knowing that your body is its own worst enemy. Along the way, some girls dumped him. So he gave up his career as a successful writer and started writing songs.
I get him. I do.
I'm also pretty obsessed with living my life.
I'm going to spare you all of the details but Chris and I headed to San Francisco yesterday to see The Airborne at the Warfield Theater. They were incredible as always. They played their new single Timeless of the new album (that comes out on the 30th. Buy it.) and it resonated. Mikel explained that he wrote it after having 4 members of his family die including finding his Grandmother when she passed. We had already decided to drive to Half Moon Bay in the morning to see the ocean when we checked out the video for Timeless. It takes place at the ocean. Grandma Judy loved the ocean. I love the ocean.
We are, we are
We are timeless, timeless
Everything we have, we have,
Everything oh my god.
You are, you are,
The only thing that makes me feel like,
I can live forever, forever
With you-
It's been nearly two months since my last blog and during this time countless things good and bad have occured.
I have made a stronger commitment to my well being and have been considerably less symptomatic than the last time you heard from me. I have taken all my vitamins everyday for the last two months ( But I'm still off my meds but you will have to forgive me for that.) I have forsaken working any hour beyond my scheduled time and am really trying to leave work at work and not worry about it during my off hours.
I have made great efforts to experience my life while it is happening. Hence, less blogging and less Facebook interactions. I have instead made efforts to hang out with real people and I think I have made a few friends.
I indulged in frequent flier miles and visted my Mother. And I gladly spent an enormous amount of money to spend a week with family when we lost our Grandmother Judy.
So in a way, this is a blog about death. Or living life. However you choose to think about it.
Chris and I are in love with a band called The Airborne Toxic Event. They are the best band you aren't listening to. The lead singer and songwriter Mikel Jollet has had some crap happen in his life and now he writes some beautiful music about it. Like me, he has an autoimmune disease. He has also suffered having 4 family members die close together. He is pretty obsessed with living and dying you might say, having his fair share while trying to absorb the mental mind fuck that is knowing that your body is its own worst enemy. Along the way, some girls dumped him. So he gave up his career as a successful writer and started writing songs.
I get him. I do.
I'm also pretty obsessed with living my life.
I'm going to spare you all of the details but Chris and I headed to San Francisco yesterday to see The Airborne at the Warfield Theater. They were incredible as always. They played their new single Timeless of the new album (that comes out on the 30th. Buy it.) and it resonated. Mikel explained that he wrote it after having 4 members of his family die including finding his Grandmother when she passed. We had already decided to drive to Half Moon Bay in the morning to see the ocean when we checked out the video for Timeless. It takes place at the ocean. Grandma Judy loved the ocean. I love the ocean.
Sometimes, so many things in your life just some together. And a song can definitly capture memories. I think I have found the song for this period of time.
I present to you Timeless by The Airborne Toxic Event
( and some pics from our trip to the bay)
We are, we are
We are timeless, timeless
Everything we have, we have,
Everything oh my god.
You are, you are,
The only thing that makes me feel like,
I can live forever, forever
With you-
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Number One
I am Number One.
I am Number One.
I am Number One.
I have to write this down or start repeating it aloud so I can believe it.
Well that's not entirely true. I believe it. I just don't always remember that I believe it.
These last few weeks have been a little rough. I have worked 16 of the last 19 days in long stretches.
All starting at 6am :(
It's my fault. I don't know how to say no. I have stupidly strong desire to prove to others I can do anything. Worse than that, I have an even more stupid desire to prove to myself that I can do anything still. And it's just not true.
I recognize where my limitations are. I just ignore them.
I find myself stacking boxes and singing Jason Aldean songs to myself. The Only Way I Know is my power song. It's the mantra is repeat, which is great but sometimes I think Aldean himself would put a boot in my ass for it.
That’s the only way I know
Don’t stop till everything’s gone
Straight ahead never turn round
Don’t back up, don’t back down
Full throttle wide open
You get tired, you don’t show it
Dig a little deeper when you think you can’t dig no more
That’s the only way I know
But stress is a trigger for my MS symptoms. And I constantly ignore that because stress is the salt of life. It's always present, you just need to be careful about how much more you add.
But here's the skinny, I have been having periods of vertigo. They are fleeting and more annoying than anything but they are there. I can mind over matter them to the point that when I feel like I am spinning, I don't panic. I know that I will stay upright when I am at work because there is usually a table in front of me. But last Monday at the grocery store I started reaching around for Chris in a panic. These are almost always followed by a headache.
Last Tuesday I experience my first MS Hug. Who ever named this was accurate that it is like being hugged by a MonSter. I was heading into the freezer for some bread dough and luckily I was not holding a 45 lb. box or on a ladder. I was just standing there looking for the specific dough when I got a shooting pain in the base of my spine up to my rib cage. Then it felt like my rib cage was caving in and squishing everything inside. One second I was upright and the next I was bent in half moaning. I'm glad I was alone in the freezer because this would have freaked out my coworkers who I have no idea I have MS. The pain passes quick enough although it felt like forever. Then for the rest of the day I felt like my head was full of gas. Like it was floating in the air and only loosely connected to my neck. I had to ask for clarification and directions several times because I was instantly forgetting them. But considering what my body went through was akin to having a small seizure in a matter of seconds I woke up the next day feeling like I had been hit by a car. I was smart enough to tell my boss that I wasn't doing any heavy lifting that day. I didn't want to make things worse, I had still had 6 days of work to get through.
But yesterday was the worst. It was day 7 of my 7 day stretch and I was dead on my feet. On any given day I have the cog fog but yesterday was the worst it has been. Ever.
I had to clock in at 5 am to do inventory with my boss, (who knows BTW). I was good for awhile but but 10 am I was headed to my lunch hour and I crossed paths with my ASM who was just coming back from hers and this is what I said:
Me: " Do feel like getting a chicken?"
Her: "What? No."
Me: "I'm so tired that is not what I meant. I mean, do you feel like you are getting a chicken?"
Her: Laughing at me. " Um no. Why are you asking me this?"
Me: " This is not what I mean. Hold on, I will say the right words. I mean to say since we think it is cold out, do you feel like a chicken?"
Uncontrollable laughter is coming from both of us because this is not what I meant to say again. But I am really frustrated with myself at this point.
Her: " I don't know what you are taking about. Do chickens not like the cold?"
Me: Finally forming the almost correct words. " No, I mean because are both from colder climates and now we both think it is cold at 55 degrees. It's because we are like chickens."
??????????
I can't even explain that. I was trying to convey that since we are both from colder climates ( WA and IL) and we shouldn't think we are cold when it is 55 out. But now we both do and that makes us sissies/weinies etc. but somehow I was all about the chicken. It was awkward.
But nothing compares to the end. I was dead on my feet and although I kept telling my boss " I'm fine. I'm fine." She knew better then to believe me. I told her in the beginning I didnt want to be treated differently then anyone else but she called me out on it. I'm not sure how much gibberish I was saying to alert her. I don't remember much but the chicken conversation. After I punched out for the day I went to get my purse and sweater from the lockers and realized I was thirsty. I promptly walked into the ladies room, turned on the water, and whacked my head on the faucett. Everyone in the breakroom heard me scream and curse. It was not the water fountain I thought it was. I realized that upon whacking my head. Time to get in my car and drive home. Which in retrospect I shouldn't have done.
The last few days have given me pause about how I am abusing myself. Because I really am doing this to myself. No one is forcing me to go work overtime. No one is hiding my vitamins from me, I'm simply just not making it a priority to take them. No one beside me is making me skip Yoga class to stay home and watch Pretty Little Liars. I have no social life and haven't made any friends because I am constantly staying home and avoiding social activities. But that all changes today.
4 days ago I deleted the Facebook app from my phone. I have decided to be more present in my own life and less involved in what all of you are doing. Don't be offended. I've just come to the realization that I can enjoy my life more if I spend more time living it.
5 days ago I asked one of my coworkers if she wanted to go bowling. She gave me her number previously and said we should hang out sometime but I haven't been up to it until now. Chris and I are going bowling with she and her girlfriend and I am pretty excited. I didn't know she just recently moved here too. I thought she was a local but we are both in the same friendless boat.
And today I am starting my clean slate with myself. I wrote down the water aerobics and yoga class schedule in my planner so I can remind myself to exercise and do social activities. I am off work today and my very leisurely schedule consists of...
10:15 Yoga
4:00 Haircut and EyeBrow Wax
6:00 Hour long Swedish Massage :)
Somewhere in there I am going to shop for fruit and veggies because I need to start regularly drinking my smoothies again. As well as try to find a recomendation for a chiropractor.
I told my bosses that no matter what happens at work this week I am not coming in extra. No way. Call me and I will say no. I told them I am literally making myself sick covering for other people. I have to remind myself that the overtime is not worth my health. (Especially since California takes most of it in taxes anyway.)
Also, I would like some feedback on this....
I miss my Las Vegas tan. I was never goldeny bronze but I am pale now. And when I feel sick and look in the mirror I see how pale I am and than I am grossed out by myself. The bags around my eyes are so much clearer. I have been considering buying a couple of tanning sessions to get some color back on me and maybe boost my self-esteem a bit? You know I am never going to be an orange snookie monster but I don't feel like summer is coming fast enough for me to do this the old fashion way. Thoughts?
Off to Yoga now.... Namaste :)
I am Number One.
I am Number One.
I have to write this down or start repeating it aloud so I can believe it.
Well that's not entirely true. I believe it. I just don't always remember that I believe it.
These last few weeks have been a little rough. I have worked 16 of the last 19 days in long stretches.
All starting at 6am :(
It's my fault. I don't know how to say no. I have stupidly strong desire to prove to others I can do anything. Worse than that, I have an even more stupid desire to prove to myself that I can do anything still. And it's just not true.
I recognize where my limitations are. I just ignore them.
I find myself stacking boxes and singing Jason Aldean songs to myself. The Only Way I Know is my power song. It's the mantra is repeat, which is great but sometimes I think Aldean himself would put a boot in my ass for it.
That’s the only way I know
Don’t stop till everything’s gone
Straight ahead never turn round
Don’t back up, don’t back down
Full throttle wide open
You get tired, you don’t show it
Dig a little deeper when you think you can’t dig no more
That’s the only way I know
But stress is a trigger for my MS symptoms. And I constantly ignore that because stress is the salt of life. It's always present, you just need to be careful about how much more you add.
But here's the skinny, I have been having periods of vertigo. They are fleeting and more annoying than anything but they are there. I can mind over matter them to the point that when I feel like I am spinning, I don't panic. I know that I will stay upright when I am at work because there is usually a table in front of me. But last Monday at the grocery store I started reaching around for Chris in a panic. These are almost always followed by a headache.
Last Tuesday I experience my first MS Hug. Who ever named this was accurate that it is like being hugged by a MonSter. I was heading into the freezer for some bread dough and luckily I was not holding a 45 lb. box or on a ladder. I was just standing there looking for the specific dough when I got a shooting pain in the base of my spine up to my rib cage. Then it felt like my rib cage was caving in and squishing everything inside. One second I was upright and the next I was bent in half moaning. I'm glad I was alone in the freezer because this would have freaked out my coworkers who I have no idea I have MS. The pain passes quick enough although it felt like forever. Then for the rest of the day I felt like my head was full of gas. Like it was floating in the air and only loosely connected to my neck. I had to ask for clarification and directions several times because I was instantly forgetting them. But considering what my body went through was akin to having a small seizure in a matter of seconds I woke up the next day feeling like I had been hit by a car. I was smart enough to tell my boss that I wasn't doing any heavy lifting that day. I didn't want to make things worse, I had still had 6 days of work to get through.
But yesterday was the worst. It was day 7 of my 7 day stretch and I was dead on my feet. On any given day I have the cog fog but yesterday was the worst it has been. Ever.
I had to clock in at 5 am to do inventory with my boss, (who knows BTW). I was good for awhile but but 10 am I was headed to my lunch hour and I crossed paths with my ASM who was just coming back from hers and this is what I said:
Me: " Do feel like getting a chicken?"
Her: "What? No."
Me: "I'm so tired that is not what I meant. I mean, do you feel like you are getting a chicken?"
Her: Laughing at me. " Um no. Why are you asking me this?"
Me: " This is not what I mean. Hold on, I will say the right words. I mean to say since we think it is cold out, do you feel like a chicken?"
Uncontrollable laughter is coming from both of us because this is not what I meant to say again. But I am really frustrated with myself at this point.
Her: " I don't know what you are taking about. Do chickens not like the cold?"
Me: Finally forming the almost correct words. " No, I mean because are both from colder climates and now we both think it is cold at 55 degrees. It's because we are like chickens."
??????????
I can't even explain that. I was trying to convey that since we are both from colder climates ( WA and IL) and we shouldn't think we are cold when it is 55 out. But now we both do and that makes us sissies/weinies etc. but somehow I was all about the chicken. It was awkward.
But nothing compares to the end. I was dead on my feet and although I kept telling my boss " I'm fine. I'm fine." She knew better then to believe me. I told her in the beginning I didnt want to be treated differently then anyone else but she called me out on it. I'm not sure how much gibberish I was saying to alert her. I don't remember much but the chicken conversation. After I punched out for the day I went to get my purse and sweater from the lockers and realized I was thirsty. I promptly walked into the ladies room, turned on the water, and whacked my head on the faucett. Everyone in the breakroom heard me scream and curse. It was not the water fountain I thought it was. I realized that upon whacking my head. Time to get in my car and drive home. Which in retrospect I shouldn't have done.
The last few days have given me pause about how I am abusing myself. Because I really am doing this to myself. No one is forcing me to go work overtime. No one is hiding my vitamins from me, I'm simply just not making it a priority to take them. No one beside me is making me skip Yoga class to stay home and watch Pretty Little Liars. I have no social life and haven't made any friends because I am constantly staying home and avoiding social activities. But that all changes today.
4 days ago I deleted the Facebook app from my phone. I have decided to be more present in my own life and less involved in what all of you are doing. Don't be offended. I've just come to the realization that I can enjoy my life more if I spend more time living it.
5 days ago I asked one of my coworkers if she wanted to go bowling. She gave me her number previously and said we should hang out sometime but I haven't been up to it until now. Chris and I are going bowling with she and her girlfriend and I am pretty excited. I didn't know she just recently moved here too. I thought she was a local but we are both in the same friendless boat.
And today I am starting my clean slate with myself. I wrote down the water aerobics and yoga class schedule in my planner so I can remind myself to exercise and do social activities. I am off work today and my very leisurely schedule consists of...
10:15 Yoga
4:00 Haircut and EyeBrow Wax
6:00 Hour long Swedish Massage :)
Somewhere in there I am going to shop for fruit and veggies because I need to start regularly drinking my smoothies again. As well as try to find a recomendation for a chiropractor.
I told my bosses that no matter what happens at work this week I am not coming in extra. No way. Call me and I will say no. I told them I am literally making myself sick covering for other people. I have to remind myself that the overtime is not worth my health. (Especially since California takes most of it in taxes anyway.)
Also, I would like some feedback on this....
I miss my Las Vegas tan. I was never goldeny bronze but I am pale now. And when I feel sick and look in the mirror I see how pale I am and than I am grossed out by myself. The bags around my eyes are so much clearer. I have been considering buying a couple of tanning sessions to get some color back on me and maybe boost my self-esteem a bit? You know I am never going to be an orange snookie monster but I don't feel like summer is coming fast enough for me to do this the old fashion way. Thoughts?
Off to Yoga now.... Namaste :)
Monday, January 21, 2013
My First Year with MS
January 20th, 2012
This is the last picture taken before I was admitted to the hospital. I took this picture to show Chris how much snow we still had at home. He was living in Nevada at the time. We had lived apart for almost 4 months at this point.
January 21st, 2012
This is the first picture taken after I left the hospital. Sixth Nerve Palsy, Optic Neuritis, whatever you want to call it, my left eye wasn't working. The doctor told me I have the signs and symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis but I need to go to the Neurologist to confirm. It's around midnight and I am on the phone with Chris in Las Vegas. He is freaking out. I had Jessica take this picture to show Chris just how okay I was.
Since that day I have had two MRI's, an Electromyography and Nerve conduction study, numerous doctors appointments and many questionable moments. I have learned how to give myself a subcutaneous injection. I know how I feel when I am on or off my meds. I have experienced the major side effects of them including blacking out, falling and having a minor seizure. Thankfully Chris was there for that one. I have endured the minor side effects, including giant raised welts like this one.
This one is my thigh. I will spare you the details of the ones on my hips. I outlined the edge in pen so I could monitor its growth. This is roughly 5 minutes after injection.
I know which leg is my lazy leg. I know how to shake the feeling back into my hands when they go numb. I know how exhausting the heat can be for a person with MS.
Even in the air conditioned apartment I used a lot of ice packs. I would sit at the bakery with them tucked down my shirt on my chest and lower back. Chris thought this one was particularly funny one day.
It's amazing how crappy I felt in Las Vegas and didn't realize it wasn't normal until I moved to a cooler climate. Now I mostly feel great. I say mostly because I have recently came to the end of an episode. For all of November and December I had a hard time sleeping through the night. Both of my arms were going completely numb while I was sleeping. Numb doesn't always imply a lack of sensation. Sometimes it's a metric ton of sensations that cause pins and needle pains from the shoulders down. That make it hard to clench and unclench your hands. I wasn't sure if this was MS related or if I was developing some sort of tunnel syndrome. But one day it just stopped. That day was December 31st. I haven't had any pain or numbness since. I haven't changed anything and it just stopped. Sometimes I wonder if my Mom prayed to God I wouldn't be in pain anymore as that was the day of her 49th birthday.
But inspite of all this I would call this a banner year. I have learned a lot about myself and my life. I have learned who my true friends are. In fact somethimes I think the reason I haven't made a single friend in the last year is because I already have the best ones possible.
I have learned to take advantage of every possible opportunity, even if it seems mundane.
I have learned that you don't need a table and chairs to have the best meal of your life. Every meal you have with the person you love the most is the best. Even sitting on the floor of your entirely empty apartment. ( We couldn't afford furniture yet.)
And despite moving between three states Chris and I have both found ourselves working in the fields we love. I'm a baker now. And for the first time ever I love my job. Not just tolerate it. I love it. It's where my natural talents are.
And a giant thank you and I love you to my wonderful husband Chris. Who is patient and caring and my equally goofy other half. We know there are going to be a lot of twists in our road ahead and I know you are never going to let go of my hand.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Hitting The Pavement
There is an expression people use all the time to say something is so easy even a kid could do it,
"It's like learning to ride a bike"
Well I'm here to say F that. Learning to ride a bike is not easy.
Let's rewind back to Christmas time....
I have wanted a bicycle for a long time. And Chris was determined to celebrate Christmas in high fashion this year. There was a ridiculous amount of presents for me under the tree and when I woke up Christmas morning, Santa Claus had left a shiny new bicycle for me.
I honestly hate bicyclists though. I curse them all the time and I hate their stupid bike lanes. But this hasn't stopped my desire to get a bicycle to ride next to the river. I fantasize about the spring time and how cute I will look and how fun it will be to ride to the nice Starbucks on Arena Blvd and have coffee with Chris. I want to throw my bike in the back of Ariel Speedwagon and head out to the coast. Santa Cruz, Half Moon Bay, you name it. I want to ride my pretty teal cruiser in the sunshine next to some water. I want to get a basket for the front ( to put my purse or perhaps a kitten in) and ride my bike to the gym. Basically, I fantacize about being an obnoxious hipster.
The day after Christmas I went to our local bike shop and bought myself a Nutcase helmet. After telling the salesgirl that I didn't want a pointy speedy looking helmet she showed me all the Nutcases. They are so pretty! And they cover my whole head! I wanted coverage, not the ability to be a faster moving projectile. I had settled on a pretty flower covered helmet when something shiny and red caught my eye. A Union Jack. I tried it on and knew it was the one. I quickly proclaimed while admiring myself in the mirror that if the Spice Girls rode bicycles, this is what they would wear. The sales girl thought I was going to get the flowery one still. She clearly does not know me. If I have the opportunity to look like a Spice Girl AND be safe, that is win/win in my book.
"It's like learning to ride a bike"
Well I'm here to say F that. Learning to ride a bike is not easy.
Let's rewind back to Christmas time....
I have wanted a bicycle for a long time. And Chris was determined to celebrate Christmas in high fashion this year. There was a ridiculous amount of presents for me under the tree and when I woke up Christmas morning, Santa Claus had left a shiny new bicycle for me.
A pretty shiny new teal and pink bicycle for moi!
I was so excited. I haven't owned or rode a bicycle in over 20 years. Bicycles are so California too and I'm trying to acclimate. Everyone here has one and rides. It's pretty flat here in Sacramento but there are lots of pretty bike trails next to the American river, 2 miles from my apartment.
The day after Christmas I went to our local bike shop and bought myself a Nutcase helmet. After telling the salesgirl that I didn't want a pointy speedy looking helmet she showed me all the Nutcases. They are so pretty! And they cover my whole head! I wanted coverage, not the ability to be a faster moving projectile. I had settled on a pretty flower covered helmet when something shiny and red caught my eye. A Union Jack. I tried it on and knew it was the one. I quickly proclaimed while admiring myself in the mirror that if the Spice Girls rode bicycles, this is what they would wear. The sales girl thought I was going to get the flowery one still. She clearly does not know me. If I have the opportunity to look like a Spice Girl AND be safe, that is win/win in my book.
Just call me Sporty Spice
Now my bike fantasies involve listening to the Spice World CD while cruising around in the sunshine. Seriously. And when Chris was tightening the nuts and gears and such I played Queen's Bicycle Race for him. I am so prepared to me to be a bicycle racing fat bottomed girl who may or may not be a Spice Girl. Watch out World!
But riding bikes alone is boring. So I have been waiting until we bought Chris a bike also to take her on her maiden voyage. (Sidenote: My bike is the only thing in my life I haven't named. I'm taking suggestions.)
Off to Target we went today. Chris had picked out the bike he wanted over the holidays and luckily it was on clearance when we went to pick it up today. So we picked up a bike rack too. Chris didn't want to pack his bike in the Speedwagon so he installed the bike rack in the parking lot.
Oh and dear bike snobs who are reading this, we know it is frowned upon to buy bikes from boxed retailers. The quality is worse and they are hard to have repaired. We did our research. But these are starter bikes for us. We decided we would rather spend our money on cheap bikes to start with and see if we will actually use them enough to validate the cost of a better quality bike. If we stick with this, we will get something better than Schwinn cruisers.
After Chris got properly Nutcased ( in a very manly black that he will put ECS stickers on) we hit the road.
And by hit the road I mean I hit the road. Hard.
We barely made it out of the gates of our apartment complex when my shoe lace got wrapped around the peddle and I screamed "Help me I'm stuck!" to Chris who looked really confused. I tried breaking but my foot was stuck and I panicked and down I went on the side of a traffic circle full of cars. Fuck. My foot was stuck to the pedal and the handlebars jabbed me in the arm pit (which still hurts) and thank god I was wearing a helmet. Best $60 I have ever spent.
But we wiggled my foot out of my shoes, unwound them and got the bicycle righted. I was laughing through my tears but I was also embarrassed. I haven't rode a bike since I was about 9 years old but isn't this stuff supposed to come back to you. You know, like riding a damn bike?
I got back on the bike and started up the hill. It's a very small hill. It's an overpass really. But when Chris got to the top he stopped to I tried to stop next to him and once again I bit it. This time I fell off the road onto a sidewalk. Seriously. Tears again. Frustration. Proclamations that I am not even qualified to be a 5 year old. And that is true. I never told you Blog readers earlier but I also don't know how to swim. Over the summer Chris gave me swimming lessons. Like Daddy and Me style swimming lessons where I held the wall and kicked. The end result is that I can swim a little now, but not in a strait line. Try as I might my left leg is lame and I swim diagonally. Almost to the point of swimming in a circle. Try to contain your laughter. We will be continuing my lessons in the spring.
But now my wheel and handle bars are out of line and my shiny new unnamed Schwinn has big scratches. Oh and I'm bleeding. I scraped my knuckles and didn't realize it and I was holding my aching armpit and dripping blood on my brand new sweater. Day is officially ruined. I just want to go home. Chris fixes my alignment and I cruise back down the hill to our apartment. Oh and my handlebars turn upside down. Not scary at all right? So now I have a broken bike, wounded pride, a ruined sweater and bloody knuckles.
We got home and cleaned up. My knuckes weren't badly hurt they just bled dramaticly. I wanted Chris to take my picture so I could post it but he wouldn't take a picture of my face since I was still crying.
Tomorrow we are going to get the bicycle repair kit and screw my bike back together. I'm going to get back on that bike and try try again. Chris said he didn't believe me when I said I hadn't rode in 20+ years. We start lessons tomorrow. The cost of my superior Spice Girls helmet is at $30 per accident now. This will go down over the next few weeks I am sure as I am clumsy as fuck. But I'm not giving up on my kitten in a basket hipster bicycling by the ocean dreams.
I'm not sure how I became so uncoordinated and ungraceful. But Chris is right, I'm an accident waiting to happen some days. I'm so glad that he is patient and loves me enough to help me brush the dirt off my scraped elbows after picking me up off the pavement. I'm glad he isn't that kind of guy who would forbid me from getting back on my bike but the kind who will screw my bike back together, make sure my Nutcase is clicked on tight and cross his fingers while he sends me on my way.
In the time it took my to type this blog, Chris is asking for a do-over on today too.
Because this bollocks just happened to him and now he has to pull the cork out with pliers.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Best Big Books of 2012
"I like big books and I cannot lie." - Sir Mix-a-lot.
About 4 years ago I started a book club with the intent of reuniting some old HS friends who love reading as much as I do. After noticing that we were constantly posting on the Book of Faces about what we were reading and chatting in comments I decided to take it to the next level and The We Heart Books Club was born. It's been seriously amazing. So amazing that I hated to leave it behind when we moved. It was (and still is) a delightful book democracy featuring cocktails, pies and the occasional movie we had already read. We took a Christmas field trip to Powell's in Portland to buy books, had ugly sweater parties, Twilight viewing parties, and many happy hour drinks. I seriously miss having this is my life.
And while formalized get together's aren't possible for me anymore, I still read along with as many of the selected books as possible. (I like to I think that in general I read as many books as possible though). A few of my book club compatriots are commuters and read so much that at the end of the year they could post a list of all the books they had read. It never occurred to me to keep track before! So in 2012 I joined Goodreads so I could keep a log of all the books I read and could post a list in December. Conveniently Goodreads had a 2012 reading challenge widget and set a goal of reading 26 books in 2012. One book every two weeks sounds totally do-able right?
Yes. So do-able that I met my goal early. So I upped it to 30...
...then 32...
...then 35...
It is the end of 2012 and I am happy to say I have read a total of 39 books.
39!
I'm really happy with this number. I am not often proud of myself but I am really proud of this.
But I'm going to spare you the entire list. If you are curious you can find me here.
I will however go over the highlights. The Five Star Reviews. The ones I highly recommend.
The Intrepid McKenna's Best of 2012 Reading List
1. Letter From Birmingham Jail by Martin Luther King Jr.
Excellent and moving. It's an essay so you can read it pretty quick but it will move your soul long after. I plan on reading some of Kings work every January.
2. The Red Garden by Alice Hoffman
I think I loved this book more than the rest of my book club did. It's a series of short stories about the same town and I loved it. This book has become really significant to me since the morning I woke up after staying up late to finish it, I had diplopia. It made me want to read more Alice Hoffman. And I have. Here is a little snippet of the book club review I wrote for it.
So The Red Garden... I loved it. I really enjoy reading short stories but I felt like this wasn't individual stories as much as it was one long love letter about Blackwell. My favorite story was The Monster of Blackwell. Broke my heart. I didn't find the book to be sad like some of you did. I felt like it was very mundane if anything. Here are little vignettes about ordinary people in an ordinary town with a little mysitcism thrown in, that makes the situations life changing and formative. A bear was a great symbol for the pioneering spirit and fearlessness of all the characters. They were all fighting there own little battles.
You should read it.
3. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
This is not the first or the last time I will read this book. It's one of my Top 10. I have 3 copies of it on my bookshelf because I love to encourage people to read it and it's easy to do that if I just give them a copy. The movie did not do this beautiful story justice. I love Henry. He's a librarian.
4. City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare
Judge this book by it's cover. The cover artwork is beautiful for the entire series and so is the cast of characters. This book 5 of the Mortal Instruments series and I can't wait for book 6. There is magic, romance, and demon hunting all in one lovely story. To be honest the main characters, Clary and Jace, were getting a little tiresome but book 5 gives you lots of story about the supporting cast who are much more interesting. It's very satisfying. Plus, a movie based on the first book is coming out in 2013 and it look great! I was really hesitant to see how they were going to film it. And even though I hate the actor cast as Jace, the trailer makes me really excited. See it here: City of Bones
5. Jeneration X by Jen Lancaster
My favorite memoirist tells her tale of finally growing up...in her 40's. Many that I have shared her books with return them saying she is the republican version of me. I think she is even funnier. I listened to this as an audible book while driving from Vegas to Sacramento and it felt like having a conversation with her. Even Chris loves Jen's books. She also writes a hilarious blog, you can find here. I'm looking forward to her next book, The Tao of Martha.
6. The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman
Hoffman's book always have a mystical quality to them and this was no exception. This story of a lightening strike survivor and her bond with another melted my heart. A very quick read with a satisfying end.
7.War by Sebastian Junger
It took me over two months to go through this book chapter by chapter. It was worth it though. A very intense look at the daily lives of our troops stationed in Afghanistan. It's gritty and intense and I learned a lot about guns.
8. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Very few characters have stuck with me quite like Charlie has. I can see myself reading this book annually. And the movie adaptation was excellent, but you should still read the book.
9. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Hands down my favorite book of 2012. It's received a lot of praise that it rightly deserves. I'm not sure how John Green figured out what it feels like to be a 16 year old girl. But he did. I didn't cry as much as I did with perks, but I was trying to be tough like our main character Hazel.
10. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Another book deserving of all the praise it received.The whole time I knew there would be twists so I kept guessing the most outrageous things I could think of and Bam! I was wrong. This book was so much smarter then me.
11. The Grey Wolf Throne by Cinda Williams Chima
This is book 3 in the Seven Realms Series. It's a 4 book series and as far as middle books go, this was outstanding. The main character Princess Raisa is a seriously kick ass princess with a lot of integrity. I love this series and I'm dragging my feet on the last book because I don't want it to be over.
12. The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein
No book about dogs has screwed me up this bad since Where the Red Fern Grows. A very original idea that is a beautiful portrait of family.
13. Bossypants by Tina Fey
I listened to the Audible version of this. Love, love, love. Again, it was like having a conversation with your funniest friend. Plus there are additional jokes she makes just for audio book listeners.
Honorable Mention:
1. Man Made by Joel Stein
No other book had me laughing this hard all year long. Upon finding out he is having a son, Joel sets out to find out what it really means to be a man and hilarity ensues. It does have its serious moments and lots of lessons about "real men" but I was a little dissappointed with the ending. As a woman, I think a real man is a little different to me then it is to men. But what to I know? So I gave it 4 stars.
I'm going to set my 2013 goal at 32 books. In 2012 I had two periods of unemployment as well as a job that allowed me to read on the clock and I do not have that in 2013. I'm working full time now so I think that 32 is still a pretty good goal. I'm reading two books right now as well as listening to audio books at the gym. I learned a valuable lesson this year too. I only like listening to audio books that are memoirs narrated by the authors. It feels like having a conversation. I bought Wild by Cheryl Strayed as an audible book and I cannot get through it. The reader sounds like Bernadette Peters and her voice makes my skin crawl. I really wanted to read this book, but I don't want to buy another copy so I may never know about her journey. However, my conversations with Tina Fey and Augusten Burroughs were great. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you like audiobooks? I think I might like them more if Alec Baldwin narrated all of them :)
Tell me about your reading plans in the comments below. I want to know what you are reading and how you felt about what you read in 2012.
I hope you all have fabulous biblio-adventures in 2013!
Angelina
About 4 years ago I started a book club with the intent of reuniting some old HS friends who love reading as much as I do. After noticing that we were constantly posting on the Book of Faces about what we were reading and chatting in comments I decided to take it to the next level and The We Heart Books Club was born. It's been seriously amazing. So amazing that I hated to leave it behind when we moved. It was (and still is) a delightful book democracy featuring cocktails, pies and the occasional movie we had already read. We took a Christmas field trip to Powell's in Portland to buy books, had ugly sweater parties, Twilight viewing parties, and many happy hour drinks. I seriously miss having this is my life.
And while formalized get together's aren't possible for me anymore, I still read along with as many of the selected books as possible. (I like to I think that in general I read as many books as possible though). A few of my book club compatriots are commuters and read so much that at the end of the year they could post a list of all the books they had read. It never occurred to me to keep track before! So in 2012 I joined Goodreads so I could keep a log of all the books I read and could post a list in December. Conveniently Goodreads had a 2012 reading challenge widget and set a goal of reading 26 books in 2012. One book every two weeks sounds totally do-able right?
Yes. So do-able that I met my goal early. So I upped it to 30...
...then 32...
...then 35...
It is the end of 2012 and I am happy to say I have read a total of 39 books.
39!
I'm really happy with this number. I am not often proud of myself but I am really proud of this.
But I'm going to spare you the entire list. If you are curious you can find me here.
I will however go over the highlights. The Five Star Reviews. The ones I highly recommend.
The Intrepid McKenna's Best of 2012 Reading List
1. Letter From Birmingham Jail by Martin Luther King Jr.
Excellent and moving. It's an essay so you can read it pretty quick but it will move your soul long after. I plan on reading some of Kings work every January.
2. The Red Garden by Alice Hoffman
I think I loved this book more than the rest of my book club did. It's a series of short stories about the same town and I loved it. This book has become really significant to me since the morning I woke up after staying up late to finish it, I had diplopia. It made me want to read more Alice Hoffman. And I have. Here is a little snippet of the book club review I wrote for it.
So The Red Garden... I loved it. I really enjoy reading short stories but I felt like this wasn't individual stories as much as it was one long love letter about Blackwell. My favorite story was The Monster of Blackwell. Broke my heart. I didn't find the book to be sad like some of you did. I felt like it was very mundane if anything. Here are little vignettes about ordinary people in an ordinary town with a little mysitcism thrown in, that makes the situations life changing and formative. A bear was a great symbol for the pioneering spirit and fearlessness of all the characters. They were all fighting there own little battles.
You should read it.
3. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
This is not the first or the last time I will read this book. It's one of my Top 10. I have 3 copies of it on my bookshelf because I love to encourage people to read it and it's easy to do that if I just give them a copy. The movie did not do this beautiful story justice. I love Henry. He's a librarian.
4. City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare
Judge this book by it's cover. The cover artwork is beautiful for the entire series and so is the cast of characters. This book 5 of the Mortal Instruments series and I can't wait for book 6. There is magic, romance, and demon hunting all in one lovely story. To be honest the main characters, Clary and Jace, were getting a little tiresome but book 5 gives you lots of story about the supporting cast who are much more interesting. It's very satisfying. Plus, a movie based on the first book is coming out in 2013 and it look great! I was really hesitant to see how they were going to film it. And even though I hate the actor cast as Jace, the trailer makes me really excited. See it here: City of Bones
5. Jeneration X by Jen Lancaster
My favorite memoirist tells her tale of finally growing up...in her 40's. Many that I have shared her books with return them saying she is the republican version of me. I think she is even funnier. I listened to this as an audible book while driving from Vegas to Sacramento and it felt like having a conversation with her. Even Chris loves Jen's books. She also writes a hilarious blog, you can find here. I'm looking forward to her next book, The Tao of Martha.
6. The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman
Hoffman's book always have a mystical quality to them and this was no exception. This story of a lightening strike survivor and her bond with another melted my heart. A very quick read with a satisfying end.
7.War by Sebastian Junger
It took me over two months to go through this book chapter by chapter. It was worth it though. A very intense look at the daily lives of our troops stationed in Afghanistan. It's gritty and intense and I learned a lot about guns.
8. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Very few characters have stuck with me quite like Charlie has. I can see myself reading this book annually. And the movie adaptation was excellent, but you should still read the book.
9. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Hands down my favorite book of 2012. It's received a lot of praise that it rightly deserves. I'm not sure how John Green figured out what it feels like to be a 16 year old girl. But he did. I didn't cry as much as I did with perks, but I was trying to be tough like our main character Hazel.
10. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Another book deserving of all the praise it received.The whole time I knew there would be twists so I kept guessing the most outrageous things I could think of and Bam! I was wrong. This book was so much smarter then me.
11. The Grey Wolf Throne by Cinda Williams Chima
This is book 3 in the Seven Realms Series. It's a 4 book series and as far as middle books go, this was outstanding. The main character Princess Raisa is a seriously kick ass princess with a lot of integrity. I love this series and I'm dragging my feet on the last book because I don't want it to be over.
12. The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein
No book about dogs has screwed me up this bad since Where the Red Fern Grows. A very original idea that is a beautiful portrait of family.
13. Bossypants by Tina Fey
I listened to the Audible version of this. Love, love, love. Again, it was like having a conversation with your funniest friend. Plus there are additional jokes she makes just for audio book listeners.
Honorable Mention:
1. Man Made by Joel Stein
No other book had me laughing this hard all year long. Upon finding out he is having a son, Joel sets out to find out what it really means to be a man and hilarity ensues. It does have its serious moments and lots of lessons about "real men" but I was a little dissappointed with the ending. As a woman, I think a real man is a little different to me then it is to men. But what to I know? So I gave it 4 stars.
I'm going to set my 2013 goal at 32 books. In 2012 I had two periods of unemployment as well as a job that allowed me to read on the clock and I do not have that in 2013. I'm working full time now so I think that 32 is still a pretty good goal. I'm reading two books right now as well as listening to audio books at the gym. I learned a valuable lesson this year too. I only like listening to audio books that are memoirs narrated by the authors. It feels like having a conversation. I bought Wild by Cheryl Strayed as an audible book and I cannot get through it. The reader sounds like Bernadette Peters and her voice makes my skin crawl. I really wanted to read this book, but I don't want to buy another copy so I may never know about her journey. However, my conversations with Tina Fey and Augusten Burroughs were great. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you like audiobooks? I think I might like them more if Alec Baldwin narrated all of them :)
Tell me about your reading plans in the comments below. I want to know what you are reading and how you felt about what you read in 2012.
I hope you all have fabulous biblio-adventures in 2013!
Angelina
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