So you may have figured out that I went back home this past weekend. My apologies to everyone I didn't get to see but it was a last minute decision and was for a short amount of time.
A few weeks ago I had a total meltdown. I think the last three months really caught up with me. Having my meds arrive in the mail was like fondant on the already frosted cake of shit in front of me. I have been very homesick and I can't find anyway to remedy it. The only person I really know in this town is headed back to Afghanistan at the end of the month and Chris is gone all the time. Even on days when he is supposed to be off he gets called in. I can't count on when I will get to see him so I am left doing things by myself most of the time.
And yes, I know he has had a crazy schedule for years. And I have been quite used to being responsible for my own entertainment for years too. But it's different here. Back home, I would know when to expect Chris so I would make plans with friends or family when he was gone. Here I don't have that. If Chris is at work, I'm sitting at home watching reruns of The Vampire Diaries.
I miss having dinner every week down at Tina's farm with all of the Moo family.
I miss having Farm Kitchen breakfast with my Mom and grandparents every month.
I miss having tea with my grandparents every Sunday.
I miss getting to roll my eyes at Deaira because she never knew what time she had to come to work.
I miss my monthly Seattle date with Julie. I don't have anyone down here that would drink a bottle of wine and watch the Glee movie in 3D with me :)
I miss going antiquing with my Mom.
I miss going to the Grand Theatre and watching indie movies with Christina.
I miss my book club ladies.
I'm going home, back to the place where I belong
Where your love has always been enough for me
I live in a city of millions and I can't call any of them more then an acquaintance.
And I'm surrounded by a million people I still feel all alone
let me go home, I want to go home
So I bought a ticket for a very quick one night trip back to Kitsap County.
Times have changed and times are strange,
here I come but I aint the same,
Mama, I'm coming home
I surprised my grandparents down at Farm Kitchen, went antiquing with my Mom, saw my favorite co-workers from Anthony's, ate Salmon for the first time since I left, had a Sunday BBQ with my grandparents, and then headed back to the airport. It was a very fast 48 hours but at least I feel like I got to say "See you later" to people I didn't get to see before I left.
One of the things Chris and I talked about during my meltdown was that my situation has been different. He says people move to new cities all the time. True. And people are diagnosed with illnesses all the time. Also true. So I'm not the only person in these circumstances.
But how many do it at the exact same time? I mean, I was out of the hospital for 3 days when I moved here. When the snow melted, I was gone with it. I've been going through all of this without any sort of support system except for Chris. And frankly, one person isn't enough to get me through this. Especially when that person is unavailable.
My hearts like an open book, for all of the world to read
sometimes nothing keeps me together at the seams,
I'm on my way, I'm on my way,
home sweet home
I didn't blog much in April. I didn't really have anything nice to say. I had several Dr's appointments and got a second opinion on the lump on my thumb ( aka The Duchess). This doctor says it's a tumor. I think he may be right but he was so dismissive, I'm not letting him operate on me. He didn't even look at the x-ray. He just rubbed The Duchess and said it's a giant cell tumor, I need surgery, with GENERAL ANESTHESIA. After his decree he said "Do you have any questions?" to which I replied " Yes. Are you even going to look at the x-ray?"
He spent a total of 4 minutes in the exam room with me.
This is my body and there is no way that man is cutting into it.
Also I broke my molar in half :( And I had to pay $725 to have it fixed.
and we paid over $700 to register our cars :(
So yeah, not such a good start.
But I feel very refreshed after this weekend. 70 degrees, moist air, and evergreen trees were exactly what my heart needed to get out of this funk.
The bluest skies you've ever seen are in Seattle
And the hills the greenest green, in Seattle
Like a beautiful child, growing up, free an' wild
Full of hopes an' full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years, in Seattle
. . . in Seattle!
When it's time to leave your home and your loved ones
It's the hardest thing a boy can ever do
An' you pray that you will find someone warm an' sweet an' kind
But you're not sure what's waiting there for you!
The bluest skies you've ever seen are in Seattle
And the hills the greenest green, in Seattle
Like a beautiful child, growing up, free an' wild
Full of hopes an' full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years, in Seattle
. . . in Seattle!
When you find your own true love, you will know it
By her smile, by the look in her eye
Scent of pine trees in the air, never knew a day so fair
It makes you feel so proud that you could cry!
The bluest skies you've ever seen are in Seattle
And the hills the greenest green, in Seattle
Like a beautiful child, growing up, free an' wild
Full of hopes an' full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years, in Seattle
. . . in Seattle!
In Seattle . . . in Seattle . . . in Seattle!
"Seattle" by Perry Como
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
The Kindness of Strangers
I'm interrupting this radio silence to tell you about the crazy-wonderful thing that happend on this crazy-less-then-wonderful day.
As you know Sundays are the only day Chris and I have off together. So we have a regular routine. We go to Babystacks for breakfast and we go have puppy therapy at Petsmart. Every single Sunday.
Well today was different. Today, I cooked breakfast. ( But we still went to puppy therapy.)
Then we went on a search for a mini fridge.
You see, my first shipment of "MS Therapy" aka Meds arrives on Tuesday. I'm taking Copaxone, a daily injection, and it has to be refridgerated. The fridge that came with our apartment freezes everything and we don't trust that the fridge won't freeze my meds. Plus, our apartment fridge is tiny and there isn't enough room for all our food let alone a 30 supply of auto injectors.
Well we headed to Walmart.( I know, I know.... We are Walmart haters too. But when I was pricing the mini fridges in the area they had the best price. And my meds are EXPENSIVE. So I'm all about saving the $10.)
But the Walmart in our neighborhood doesn't carry mini fridges. So we headed to the Super Walmart across town where I had actually seen said mini fridge.
Also, Chris and I had decided to cash in our change jar today. Our change jar is affectionatly known as the JC Penney Jar because we don't actually save it because we need it. We save it up, and when it gets full we dump in the coinstar for a gift certificate. If you get cash, they charge 9.8% fee. But you can get a gift cert to lots of different places for free. We usually get a JC Penney cert and treat ourselves. Remember back in December when I cashed in my jar and got two pairs of boots, a dress, and a necklace for what felt like FREE to me?
So here's the scene:
Chris and I are standing in line at the Coinstar at the Super Walmart. A hispanic family and a single man with a plastic sack of change are ahead of us. The hispanic family finishes and leaves and the single man deposits his coins.
Chris: Wow. That man stood in this line to get $3.51. Oh wait, he's at $3.62 now.
Me: He probably has to use it to buy bread or baby formula too. I know we complain about our situation but we are far better off than most people.
Chris: Oh I know.
Me: Serious. Our biggest complaint is that we aren't earning enough to save as much as we'd like. I mean we have a few thousand dollars in the bank and sometimes it's not good enough for us.
Then it was our turn. We looked at the gift card options and only restuarants were available. We don't want Olive Garden or Red Lobster gift cards so we put the mug back in my purse and went shopping for the fridge. ( We have some first world problems right?)
Well that Walmart was sold out. Damn.
So rather then drive all over town we headed to Target. Damn the $10 difference, I need my fridge.
Target was out as well.
So I quite literally stood in the middle of the aisle at Target and said " Okay universe, you win. I concede and am going home."
So we headed home. And we stopped at our neighborhood Albertsons to deposit the coins.
Albertsons doesn't have a Coinstar. Damn again.
But we knew Von's did and as we walked back to the car we discussed how today was going all wrong because we skipped going to Babystacks. This is why routines are so important and we fucked ours up so the universe was having it's way with us.
... and we headed across Lake Mead Blvd to the Vons.
We looked through the certificate options: iTunes, Amazon, JC Penney, The Gap, Carraba's. We selected Amazon because we figured we could order the mini fridge and have it delivered.
Chris drops in the coins.
I stand there with my hands on my hips.
As we are watching the total rack up I feel something poke me in the palm of my left hand.
I look down.
There is a $20 bill in it.
And an older lady shuffling past us.
I was so stunned. And because when I felt the palm poke I said "What the Fuck?" loudly Chris is looking too and he sees that the lady slipped a $20 in my palm as she was leaving the store.
Okay. This kind of thing never happens to us.
Chris and I are the kind of people who do this kind of thing to other people, but it never happens to us. I mean in the last month that I haven't been blogging we spent Easter delivering Easter baskets we made to nurses and paramedics who had to work on Easter Sunday.
We donated 8 soccer balls to a local elementary school because their PE program was down to 2 basketballs for the rest of the year.
We tried to buy a round of drinks for 3 servicemen who were dining in uniform at the same restaurant we were at but they weren't drinking and there check was taking care of.
... but this never happens to us.
And we were both pretty speechless and felt a little awkward. The same pity we had toward the man at Walmart, she had towards us.
Before we even left the coinstar we agreed to pay it forward, even though we know we already do.
$20 plus the $54.76 Amazon certificate pays for the cost of the fridge for my medication. So even though we aren't desperate for cash like she perhaps thought we were, her $20 is going towards an essential purchase.
And we both are still a little speechless about it but we thank her.
Being on the other side of the kind stranger situation is new to us, but makes us want to continue to be kind strangers to others.
And we will be paying it forward.
As you know Sundays are the only day Chris and I have off together. So we have a regular routine. We go to Babystacks for breakfast and we go have puppy therapy at Petsmart. Every single Sunday.
Well today was different. Today, I cooked breakfast. ( But we still went to puppy therapy.)
Then we went on a search for a mini fridge.
You see, my first shipment of "MS Therapy" aka Meds arrives on Tuesday. I'm taking Copaxone, a daily injection, and it has to be refridgerated. The fridge that came with our apartment freezes everything and we don't trust that the fridge won't freeze my meds. Plus, our apartment fridge is tiny and there isn't enough room for all our food let alone a 30 supply of auto injectors.
Well we headed to Walmart.( I know, I know.... We are Walmart haters too. But when I was pricing the mini fridges in the area they had the best price. And my meds are EXPENSIVE. So I'm all about saving the $10.)
But the Walmart in our neighborhood doesn't carry mini fridges. So we headed to the Super Walmart across town where I had actually seen said mini fridge.
Also, Chris and I had decided to cash in our change jar today. Our change jar is affectionatly known as the JC Penney Jar because we don't actually save it because we need it. We save it up, and when it gets full we dump in the coinstar for a gift certificate. If you get cash, they charge 9.8% fee. But you can get a gift cert to lots of different places for free. We usually get a JC Penney cert and treat ourselves. Remember back in December when I cashed in my jar and got two pairs of boots, a dress, and a necklace for what felt like FREE to me?
So here's the scene:
Chris and I are standing in line at the Coinstar at the Super Walmart. A hispanic family and a single man with a plastic sack of change are ahead of us. The hispanic family finishes and leaves and the single man deposits his coins.
Chris: Wow. That man stood in this line to get $3.51. Oh wait, he's at $3.62 now.
Me: He probably has to use it to buy bread or baby formula too. I know we complain about our situation but we are far better off than most people.
Chris: Oh I know.
Me: Serious. Our biggest complaint is that we aren't earning enough to save as much as we'd like. I mean we have a few thousand dollars in the bank and sometimes it's not good enough for us.
Then it was our turn. We looked at the gift card options and only restuarants were available. We don't want Olive Garden or Red Lobster gift cards so we put the mug back in my purse and went shopping for the fridge. ( We have some first world problems right?)
Well that Walmart was sold out. Damn.
So rather then drive all over town we headed to Target. Damn the $10 difference, I need my fridge.
Target was out as well.
So I quite literally stood in the middle of the aisle at Target and said " Okay universe, you win. I concede and am going home."
So we headed home. And we stopped at our neighborhood Albertsons to deposit the coins.
Albertsons doesn't have a Coinstar. Damn again.
But we knew Von's did and as we walked back to the car we discussed how today was going all wrong because we skipped going to Babystacks. This is why routines are so important and we fucked ours up so the universe was having it's way with us.
... and we headed across Lake Mead Blvd to the Vons.
We looked through the certificate options: iTunes, Amazon, JC Penney, The Gap, Carraba's. We selected Amazon because we figured we could order the mini fridge and have it delivered.
Chris drops in the coins.
I stand there with my hands on my hips.
As we are watching the total rack up I feel something poke me in the palm of my left hand.
I look down.
There is a $20 bill in it.
And an older lady shuffling past us.
I was so stunned. And because when I felt the palm poke I said "What the Fuck?" loudly Chris is looking too and he sees that the lady slipped a $20 in my palm as she was leaving the store.
Okay. This kind of thing never happens to us.
Chris and I are the kind of people who do this kind of thing to other people, but it never happens to us. I mean in the last month that I haven't been blogging we spent Easter delivering Easter baskets we made to nurses and paramedics who had to work on Easter Sunday.
We donated 8 soccer balls to a local elementary school because their PE program was down to 2 basketballs for the rest of the year.
We tried to buy a round of drinks for 3 servicemen who were dining in uniform at the same restaurant we were at but they weren't drinking and there check was taking care of.
... but this never happens to us.
And we were both pretty speechless and felt a little awkward. The same pity we had toward the man at Walmart, she had towards us.
Before we even left the coinstar we agreed to pay it forward, even though we know we already do.
$20 plus the $54.76 Amazon certificate pays for the cost of the fridge for my medication. So even though we aren't desperate for cash like she perhaps thought we were, her $20 is going towards an essential purchase.
And we both are still a little speechless about it but we thank her.
Being on the other side of the kind stranger situation is new to us, but makes us want to continue to be kind strangers to others.
And we will be paying it forward.
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